


Dreams lost and found

by orphan_account



Series: Dreams [2]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Angst, Ficlets, Fluff, Fíli Needs a Hug, M/M, Smut, Unrequited Love, Violence, mentions of torture, so does Kili
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-10
Updated: 2013-12-06
Packaged: 2017-12-26 05:31:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/962164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>short stories set before, during and after "I had a dream, once"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. courtship

**Author's Note:**

> everything that doesn't fit in the actual story will go here. Reading "I had a dream, once" is probably needed to understand what's going on?  
> And if you have side stuff you want to know more about, don't hesitate to ask? uwu

Fili was so glad that Kili seemed to like Ori after all. It would have made things so hard if his brother and his One didn't get along. Not that he'd told Kili that he loved the young scribe, of course.

Ori was so _young_.

He'd been only sixty when Fili had first realized his feelings, and though five years had passed since that day, and Ori was now legally allowed to enter a courtship, he was still young. So Fili had decided it'd be better to wait, and keep it secret (Kili would tease him so much otherwise, he was sure of it).

Ori was still an apprentice anyway, and while there was friendship of a sort between them, it was clear that the younger dwarf didn't have any strong affection for him. It was also clear that since they'd met, Ori had preferred the company of Kili. Fili didn't mind, not really. He had introduced them after all. And _everyone_ preferred Kili at first, because he smiled and laughed more, while Fili came off as more distant and formal ( _cold_ , Gimli had said once, but now they got along just fine).

It was _normal_ that Ori like Kili better, but with some time and effort, Fili felt sure that he could prove he too was worthy of affection. That was his plan. He would take his time, and they would get to know each other, and it would be nice. It was a _good_ plan, and if he didn't get Ori as his lover, he would at least have him as a _friend_. It was a _perfect_ plan.

 

“Mother, I've got to talk to you,” Kili said one night as they were all around the fire.

Even Thorin was there, trying to explain to his oldest nephew how different battle strategies worked and which one to adopt against which race. Needless to say, Fili was more than happy of the interruption provided by his brother.

“I'm not sure I like how serious you look,” Dis sighed. “What did you do this time?”

“I've told Ori that if you and his mother agreed, I would like to court him,” Kili proudly announced.

Fili felt his blood turn to ice.

Kili had done _what_?

And Ori must have _agreed_ too, or Kili wouldn't be asking for permission, would he?

“You friend Ori? Isn't he a bit young?”

 _He's_ _ **my**_ _friend_ , Fili almost shouted... but that wasn't true, was it? He'd rarely ever talked to Ori, even before making him meet Kili, and after...

Everyone liked Kili better.

“He's old enough to court, mother,” Kili said. “There's a few years between us, yes, but he's very mature. He looks younger than he is, bout you forget that when you actually talk to him.”

 _That_ was what Fili had told his brother to convince him to give Ori a chance.

“He doesn't have a father,” Dis noted, “and his family isn't exactly rich. And there's that business with the middle brother...”

But Ori was a serious boy, apprenticed to be a scribe, and very talented at it, Fili thought... just as Kili said the exact same thing. Dis still seemed doubtful, but Thorin nodded.

“He's a serious and level-headed boy. He could have a good influence on you. His family is an unfortunate problem, but even with things being what they are, I personally approve.”

“Well, he is a nice boy,” Dis admitted. “Fili, you know him better than I do. What do you think?”

The oldest prince forced himself to breathe.

“I like Ori a lot, but I didn't know there were such feelings between them. He's a great dwarf. Anyone would be lucky to have his love.”

They took it as approval, somehow.

They didn't notice how tense he was, or the slight shaking in his voice, and curse Thorin for teaching him too well to always be in control of his emotions. He didn't want to be calm, he wanted to shout and yell and break things.

He didn't want Kili to court Ori, he didn't want _anyone_ to court Ori, no one but him and not _yet_ , not until Ori was old enough and _ready_ for such things.

But it was too late. Dis was saying that she would talk to Ari in the morning, and Kili looked happy, and maybe it was better that way after all? Kili did look relieved to have their mother's permission, and Ori adored Kili, that had always obvious, and if they were happy... then Fili would learn to be happy too.

So he forced a smile, and congratulated his brother as sincerely as he could.


	2. seeing me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili isn't stupid.  
> He knows what he's doing is wrong.  
> (very short, sorry?)

Contrarily to a popular opinion, Kili wasn't _stupid_. He knew that what he was doing was wrong. He even felt bad about it, sometimes. He shouldn't have flirted with Ori like that. He didn't even _like_ boys.

But it was so nice to be the centre of attention for once.

When he was speaking with Ori, he wasn't Fili's brother. He was Kili, who had a brother named Fili.

Ori didn't care that his brother was heir to a throne none of them would ever see again.

Ori didn't care that Fili was so bloody perfect and had to learn how to be even more perfect, meaning everyone constantly watched him to make sure everything he did was right and good.

Ori didn't care that Fili was a better fighter, and that Kili could only train in ways that would make him complement his brother... never the opposite.

Ori didn't care that Fili was the one who mattered, and Kili was only the spare.

Ori loved Kili.

And Kili knew that he shouldn't take advantage of that, knew that he didn't love Ori back, probably wouldn't ever love him back.

But for once there was someone in his life who saw him and only him.

And Mahal help him, he just couldn't give that up, no matter how much it might hurt Ori one day.


	3. first meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin once arrested a girl called Nari.  
> He wished he hadn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, er... a fair bit of violence against an underage character, threats of death and torture, and a young Nori being a mean little shit. (and I borrowed Nori's taste for... creative insults from Thorinsmut's Touch, which you should all ready because it's good)
> 
> That wasn't quite what I expected to write when I thought it'd be fun if Nori and Dwalin had met before Nori started living as a boy, but, er... enjoy?

When he was a young guard, Dwalin had once arrested a girl name Nari. A young thief one the many that lived in the city.

Dwalin had been the first and last to catch that one, for two reason. First, she was hard to catch… and harder even to _keep_.

Secondly, she had died soon after.

It hadn’t surprised Dwalin to hear that, and it had pained him even less. She’d been the sort of girl who could only make it big or die. She’d been one of the few dwarves to ever leave a scar on him too, not that he liked to think about it. He usually said he’d been bitten by an orc at Azanulbizar, and people didn’t dare comment that the teeth mark didn’t really look right for that.

 

Dwalin had caught her with her hand inside a noble dwarrowdam’s purse, and he’d pursued her a few minutes… longer than he should have probably, but the little bitch had stuck her tongue out at him when she’d seen him watching, and he’d just started working for the guards, the rage from Azanulbizar had still been fresh…

And he’d caught her.

Sh’d been quick and clever, but that hadn’t been enough and he’d caught up with her in an alley, and he’d pushed her against a wall roughly to make it clear that the chase was over. Clever people stopped fighting when Dwalin did that.

The girl hadn’t.

She’d twisted against him, kicking and snarling, and almost slipped away from him. At the last minute he’d managed to grab her wrist and pull her back to him before she could run away.

That was when she’d _bitten_ him, hard enough to draw blood. Dwalin almost let go of her. Another guard might have. But seeing blood again, his blood, awakened something in him that he’d thought he’d learned to control since the terrible battle at the door of Moria. He had tightened his hold on her wrist and pushed her against the wall again, more brutally than the first time, his free hand around her throat.

Her teeth just sank deeper into his arm and she glared at him defiantly.

“Let go,” Dwalin ordered.

 _Fuck you_ , the girl’s eyes answered.

“Let. Go.” the guard repeating, tightening his hold on both her wrist and her throat. She had to let go. If he tried to _make_ her let go, it would give her an opportunity to escape, and that _couldn’t_ happen.

“If you don’t let go, I will choke you, you little bitch.”

 _Not scared_ , the thief’s eyes said, as if threats like that were an everyday thing for her. She even bit harder, and Dwalin knew then that it would leave a mark for a long time, maybe even a scar, and it took what little self control he had to not just kill that child just then… but she _was_ a child, fifty, maybe sixty. Less than sixty five anyway: she didn’t have any braids to show that she was an adult.

She was a kid, and Dwalin wasn’t a nice dwarf, but he didn’t kill _children_.

Not that she could know that.

“I have to take you to prison, you little bitch,” he snarled. “That’s my job. Thieves go to prison. That’s the only thing they told me. No one ever said thieves had to be unharmed when they got there. No one even said they had to be _alive_. So look at me, carefully, and try to guess how much I _care_ whether I throw a living child or a corpse in a cell.”

She did look, and for a few seconds she didn’t seem impressed, so he twisted her wrist as much as he could with her arm bleeding in her mouth, just enough to imply that he could _easily_ break it if he wanted, even like that. She whimpered, and finally, reluctantly, she removed her teeth from his flesh.

Dwalin didn’t hiss, didn’t even look at the wound, and instead quickly put handcuffs on her, her hands behind her back. From the way she’d moved before, that wouldn’t stop her if she wanted to escape… but it would give Dwalin a second or two and that was all he needed.

“What’s your name?” he asked, pushing her back toward the main street.

“Not your fucking business, you warg fucker.”

“You can give me your name here freely, or we can wait until we’re in a cell and I’ll break your bones one by one to figure out who you are. Your choice.”

She flinched and glared at him, but she answered. “I’m Nari.”

“Nari, daughter of whom?”

“Nari, daughter of _your mother sucks orcs in Mordor_.”

He slapped her. Not _hard_ , there were people around and the guards had a reputation to keep, but still enough to make it clear that he wasn’t afraid to hurt her.

“Nari, daughter of Ari,” she spat.

“Ari the seamstress?”

“Fuck you, what does it matter? She _won’t_ pay to get me free if that’s what you wanna know, she wouldn’t even cry if I died. And even if she pays, _I_ won’t get home to that _whore_.”

Ah. So she was that sort, Dwalin thought. Half the kids who were on the street were orphans, the other half had run away from home. Still, it was a surprise. He knew Ari. Not personally, but Balin was on good terms with her son, and Dwalin had never heard anything bad about their family… even if it was known that Ari had a tendency to _not_ marry her kids’ fathers.

“Not my business what happens to you after I’ve brought you to your cell,” Dwalin grunted. “I’m paid to arrest little shits like you. The rest isn’t my problem.”

“Yeah, you’d need a brain for that, an’ everyone knows your brother got the only share of that your family had,” Nari managed to laugh. She threw him a strange look then, and smirked. “You _are_ Dwalin son of Fundin, right? Hey, is it _true_ you’re Thorin the Crownless’s bitch? I’ve heard people say you used to fuck his _brother_. That’s _sick_ , man, totally sick. How can you shag your ex’s brother?”

Dwalin froze and stared at her. _Where_ had she heard that? No one had known about Frerin and him, only Thorin and their families. They had started courting shortly before Thrain had decided to try his luck in Moria, no one _knew_. How had that little nothing of a thief… who could have…

The girl smirked at him, and with her face full of his blood, it made for a terrifying sight.

“It’s true then!” she exclaimed, loud enough to bring attention to them. “The giant of Erebor opens his legs for his dead lover’s brother! How does it feel? Hey, does the Crownless smile when he finishes, or does he look like a bloody constipated _elf_ even when he fucks you?”

For a second, Dwalin panicked. _No one_ had known about Frerin and him, how could _anyone_ believe he was Thorin’s lover, why was that girl shouting about that all of a sudden, and…

For one second, he lost his calm.

One second was _all_ Nari needed to kick him in the shin and headbut him, before twisting and bending painfully to get her arms in front of her. Before Dwalin could understand what was happening, Nari had disappeared, but he could still her laughter, her voice as she used his greatest loss against him.

He’d gone back to the watch house after that. He wasn’t sure he wanted to catch Nari anymore. Dwalin had never killed a child, but he had a feeling that one was the sort who’d give him no choice…and anyway, he wanted to get that bite disinfected. Bad enough that he’d been wounded by a kid half his size, he didn’t want that to get infected.

The healer who saw him confirmed that it would most likely leave a mark.

Dwalin hated that girl even more for it. It hadn’t been enough that she’d used _Frerin_ against him, it hadn’t been enough that she’d _humiliated_ him in public; she’d found a way to make sure he’d _never_ forget that day. He could lie to others, lie about that new scar, but _he’d_ know, and he hated it.

 

A few weeks later, Dwalin heard they had found the girl’s body in an alley, burnt to a crisp. They only knew it was her because of a few trinkets that bore her mother’s mark. It wasn’t innocent to burn someone, Dwalin had thought. With the shared history of their people, to choose such a way to kill her showed deep hatred, and that didn’t surprise him. With a mouth like hers, she probably had more enemies than friends.

Nari had been right: her mother apparently didn’t cry when she was told her daughter had died.

Dwalin didn’t blame her. No one should have wasted tears on a girl like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear i'll write a side story that isn't angsty as fuck someday.


	4. for Erebor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (companion to chapter 24 of "I had a dream, once"  
> Nori does what he has to do.  
> There is a price to pay  
> But this is for the good of Erebor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was going to BE chapter 24, but then Nori decided he wanted to reflect on his relationship with Dwalin, and I felt that didn't really have its place in the main fic, so...

Nori carefully cleaned the knife until all the blood was gone from it, and put it back to its hiding place in his tunic. He tend turned to Jerin, and smiled.

“Let us try again,” Nori suggested. “Why did you want to get rid of Ori?”

“Was going to get me arrested,” Jerin rasped painfully. “Getting too close.”

“And what did you decide to do about that?”

“Drove him mad.”

“How?”

“Moved…” Jerin stopped and tried to swallow, staring pleadingly at the pot of water on the table next to Nori. Nothing happened. Jerin resumed. “Moved his things… hid them… took his files about… about me. Burnt his book.”

“How did you get in his apartments?”

“Stole his key, made a copy, put it back. Took it from his pocket one day… one day at work, left during lunch break… easy, I know the right… the right people. Then brought it back and said… said he’d lost it. He was forced to thank me for that,” Jerin said carefully. This was the part where Nori had been forced several times to remind him how their little story went.

“That’s a lot of effort just to get rid of a scribe. Why not just kill him?”

“Warning to everyone. Don’t cross me. Fate worse than death?”

Nori nodded. That was a lesson well learned. They would just need a few reminder here and there until the trial, but he felt sure that Jerin would follow the plan.

Jerin didn’t have children but he had a nephew, while Nori had a reputation.

He’d made it clear that it was entirely deserved, and that he wouldn’t hesitate a second to cut every single finger of Jerin’s nephew small hands if his plan didn’t go well.

He had also promised that the child would have a good master and wouldn’t pay anything when the time came for him to be apprenticed.

Threats alone never worked. Threats and promises, on the other hand…

And that was also part of Nori’s reputation. His always fulfilled his threats, but even back in Ered Luin people had known that if Nori the thief promised you something, he would keep his word.

“Thirsty, please,” Jerin begged, and Nori gave him some water.

He wasn’t a monster.

He could have some mercy for that dwarf, now that his network was destroyed. Now that he’d gone from one of the few threats against the royal family to a living corpse.

Life in prison was tough and dangerous, after all. Accidents happened sometimes.

Jerin would live until his trial, but after that…

Accidents happened.

Once Jerin was done drinking, Nori left his cell and called for a guard. The one who came (pale, ill at ease, Iron Hills, thought torture was just a word before that week) was ordered to untie Jerin, clean his wounds, and make sure he was fed. The guard nodded. Nori had no official authority on him, but most people found it smart to obey him anyway.

On his way out from the watch house, Nori hesitated to go see Dwalin. He didn’t like that. He wasn’t supposed to hesitate. But Dwalin had refused to talk to him in days, since Nori had first proclaimed that he’d take care of Jerin’s interrogation himself, and _his way_. Dwalin disapproved. It wasn’t new in itself, Dwalin disapproved of many things that Nori did of course, but this time he’d been particularly vocal about it.

He’d have to apologize.

Maybe even promise he wouldn’t do things like that again, unless absolutely necessary.

It bothered him sometimes that Dwalin’s opinion mattered. It shouldn’t matter. It had been complicated enough trying to keep just Ori’s affection, wanting to secure Dwalin’s too was a bad idea. It was a weakness. 

And it wasn’t just that he just wanted the tall dwarf to remain his lover. That would have been easy to deal with, and it would have been excusable. It wasn’t everyday he could find a lover he could trust, and Dwalin was surprisingly good at that. Nori wasn’t often surprised. Unless it came to Dwalin. And that was the heart of the problem. Dwalin was utterly boring and predictable, until he wasn’t.

Nori _liked_ that.

He wasn’t supposed to like that. Surprises made you a dead dwarf. Getting attached to too many people made you a dead dwarf. But being with Dwalin felt… right and good. Dwalin saw good in him, praising his love for Ori, his dedication to Erebor, the skill of his hands, and how clever he could be. He saw the bad too, his coldness and his manipulations, but somehow he seemed to believe having the good was worth dealing with the bad...

But the tall dwarf had seen the worst of him now. He’d probably never had any illusions about how bad Nori was, but there was a difference between fucking someone who was a thief and occasionally an assassin, and having your lover torture a dwarf for days in your workplace.

Their… whatever it was they had probably couldn’t survive that.

And Nori would miss it.

Just as much as he had known he’d missed Ori, years ago, when he had decided that his brother’s reputation was worth less than the royal family’s.

But he’d made his choice. This was for the good of Erebor. Fili needed someone to tell him when to _stop_ , Ori was the best option available, and Jerin was Nori’s best tool in getting his brother back. It was all for Erebor.

If losing Dwalin was the only way to make sure the kingdom never ended in Kili’s hands, so be it.

And that decided it, Nori thought. No point in going to see a lover who’d certainly tell him that things were over. He didn’t like break ups, especially not when he was on the wrong side of them, especially when he’d made the mistake of getting attached.

It’d be better to go see Fili instead, make sure the boy wasn’t suffering any serious damage from his concussion… convince him to be more careful, too. That would be easy to do. Threatening his brother was surprisingly effective, even if Fili couldn’t stand the other idiot most of the time… and such threats were made all the more effective by the fact that Nori wouldn’t hesitate one second before killing the youngest prince.

Or having him killed. Making this personal would have been too risky, even if there were few things he wanted more than to slowly cut in small pieces the dwarf who had dared to hurt Ori.

Ori who probably wouldn’t forgive him of course, just like he wouldn't forgive him when he'd hear about Jerin, because he was stupidly good, and revenge was a thing he most likely didn’t even understand.  


But it would be for Erebor.

And Erebor was _worth_ losing the rest.

At least, that was what Nori repeated to himself as he made his way toward Fili’s apartments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nori cares about three things in life: Erebor, Ori, and Dwalin. In that order.  
> Making choices between these is painful, but he won't hesitate much.  
> Because he's seen the worst of what the exiles were driven too after the dragon, and he's taking his chance to make sure things never get that bad again. He does it not out of duty or high moral standards, but just because he feels someone has to, and he's the only one clever enough.


	5. Kit is in love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what it says on the tin (very short)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One day I was bored and on tumblr so I wrote this  
> enjoy uwu

"Kit is in love," Fili announced.

Ori raised his head from his book to look at his husband across the room. The prince looked positively horrified.

"Well, she is very nearly thirty," Ori pointed out with a smile. "It’s not a bad age for crushes, you know. Did she tell you who she liked?"

"No, it’s a secret apparently," Fili sighed, walking toward Ori and sitting next to him on the sofa, automatically leaning against his husband as he always did. "I’m not allowed to know."

"Of course you’re not. You are her father. I would never have told my mother or Dori about a crush of mine, not when I was thirty. They would have told me I was too young for that and all sorts of stupid things like that."

"Thirty  _is_  too young.”

"See? That’s why she is not telling you."

"But what if they’re a bad person? What if they break her heart?"

"Oh, she’s quite safe, don’t worry."

Fili froze and pulled back a little, watching Ori with suspicion all over his face.

"Do you  _know_  who she’s in love with?”

"I might," Ori admitted with a smug grin. "But I cannot tell you. I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone, and I pride myself in being good at keeping secrets."

"Can’t I try to convince you to tell me?"

Ori took a moment to consider it.

"You can try," he said. "It will not work, of course, but you are more than welcome to try to charm me into telling you."

Fili chuckled, and kissed him.

"I’m not sure there’s much a point in seducing you if I already know it won’t work," the prince retorted.

"Well, we would be having sex," Ori pointed out. "I know we don’t need excuses for that… but I’m giving you one, are you really going to refuse it?"

"Fair enough," Fili laughed. "And how should I seduce you, darling?"

"You might start by kissing me again?" his husband suggested, and the prince did just that.


	6. Engaged

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori and Fili get engaged  
> aka  
> One day I felt trying to write smut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was posted on tumblr a while back, so there's a chance some of you saw it already. I made a few minor corrections, but other than that it's fairly unchanged.

The engagement party was a glorious one, or so Fili supposed. He knew it had taken a great deal of planning (to which he had participated himself, to an extent) but he didn’t really care about it. The food and music didn’t matter, and neither did the congratulations of lords and friends.

The only thing that mattered was Ori’s hand in his, Ori’s smile, Ori’s lips as he kissed them, finally allowed to publicly show affection to his One. And not just _publicly_.

Ori would be sharing his bed that night, for the first time, and the prospect both thrilled and terrified him. Fili knew his lover had experience when he had none… and he knew too that some of that experience hadn’t been good… but not all of it had been bad either. As much as Kili had hurt Ori in the past, sex had long been a thing that worked for them, even when the rest of their relationship started falling to pieces… Ori himself had admitted that he’d used that to convince himself that things were still fine. Kili must have been good at that… and then there had been Thren, who’d been a widower and who had offered Ori comfort… and Fili had _read_ about things, but he couldn’t compare, didn’t know how he’d…

“You look awfully thoughtful,” Ori teased with a quick kiss to his cheek. “Not having second thoughts, are you?”

Fili jumped in surprise, and looked at his intended. Ori’s tone had been light, and he was smiling, but there was some concern in his eyes.

“I’m just worried that _you’re_ having them,” Fili replied, leaning to catch his lips (they were soft and perfect and _Ori’s_ , and he didn’t know how he’d lived so long without kissing them). “You deserve so much better than me.”

“That’s not impossible,” Ori retorted with a grin. “But I have been to the Orocarni and back, and I’ve never found a dwarf that was even just as good as you, so you will have to do, I’m afraid.”

The prince laughed, and kissed him again, just because he _could_.

Ori was his, and he was Ori’s, and everything was fine.

It wasn’t long after that Dis came to tell them that if they felt tired, they could withdraw, and Fili thanked her, almost kissing her. He had kissed her a few days earlier, when she had told him she’d be taking Kit the night of the engagement, so that they’d have ‘a night of quiet and rest’, she’d called it, her smile making it clear she didn’t believe they’d be _resting_ at all.

Fili blushed as he remembered the _one_ time Ori and him had almost forgotten that the had agreed to wait until they were engaged to have sex. They had been in his appartements, Kit had been with her nurse, and they’d taken advantage of that fact to kiss on a sofa… and maybe a little more than just kiss. It had started innocently enough, but somehow Ori had ended on top of him, grinding his hips against the prince’s while Fili mirrored the motion and clutched at his back. The only thought on his mind at the time had been that as long as they didn’t _undress_ , it wouldn’t _really_ count as having sex… or it might just have been that everything felt too good, and he didn’t want it to stop even for one moment, even if it wasn’t the most comfortable thing ever. He’d been so _close_ to finishing, everything feeling so _great_ , with Ori against him, Ori kissing his neck and trying to keep silent…

And then Dis had knocked on the door and come in, as she always did.

The two boys had quickly separated, both of them spotting a terrible blush, and Ori had soon found an excuse to run away. Dis hadn’t said anything, though. She had just _smiled_.

Somehow, it had been worse than if she’d scolded Fili for not even being able to wait a couple more weeks. They had not forgotten again after that.

But it was different this time. They were engaged, they were allowed. After so many years, so much time spent trying to convince himself he could be fine living without his One, he was _allowed_ …

 

The way to his apartments had never been longer, but that might have been because they stopped every few steps to exchange kisses that grew more and more heated as they got near their destination. Their last stop was right next to Fili’s door, and it was stupid, he knew it, but he’d looked at Ori and he’d felt a sudden impulse to kiss him against the wall… and Ori didn’t seem to mind at all, one hand buried in the prince’s hair and the other clenched on his back. Fili almost felt like he could have been content with just that.

Almost.

He was _allowed_ more, after all. He was allowed to take his lover to bed, allowed to see and feel Ori’s naked skin, allowed to kiss every inch of him, allowed to see what face he’d make through his climax, what sounds…

“You better get us inside _now_ ,” Ori breathed against his ear. “Or I swear I’ll have you here, in the corridor.”

The idea did have a certain appeal, but Fili decided that having a bed for the first time would probably help a lot. He quickly opened the door, and allowed Ori to drag him inside.

He barely managed to close behind them before his lover was kissing him again, pulling him toward the bedroom while starting to work on his buttons… and how could Ori be doing _all that_ at once? Fili had trouble just remembering that he needed to _breathe_ , it wasn’t _fair_.

When they got to the bedroom and Ori was pushing at the sleeves of Fili’s unbuttoned tunic to remove it, the prince decided that he didn’t care so much about fairness after all.

They tried to undress one another, but after a moment Ori laughed that it wasn’t a very efficient way of doing things. Fili was tempted to reply that efficiency wasn’t his goal there, but since he’d just been accidentally headbutted, he had to admit that for this time at least, getting rid of his clothe himself might be a good idea.

And anyway, there would be other times.

He would have the occasion to undress Ori, layer after layer, slowly… he was _allowed_ , and he would be allowed until the end of his days if Ori so wished it.

Soon enough, they were both wearing nothing but their breeches. Fili hadn’t dared to remove his just yet, and he was relieved to see that neither had Ori.

Or he might have been relieved if he hadn’t been so busy having his breath taken from him.

Ori was _perfect_ , small maybe, but with nice, large shoulders, strong legs and a plump belly that Fili wanted to kiss. He dared not, though.

Ori, who until then had seemed so confident and passionate, stood in front of him with his head down, refusing to look at the prince. Maybe he had changed his mind? Maybe it was too soon after all, maybe he didn’t want this, maybe he didn’t want Fili, maybe…

“Are you okay, love?” he asked, trying to keep his voice neutral, begging to Mahal that his lover wouldn’t change his mind.

“’M fine,” Ori mumbled. “Just, it’s been a while. And it… it feels… different, from… it’s _different_.”

“Is it… a _good_ different?”

“Oh, yes, definitely!” the younger dwarf blurted, meeting his eyes at last. “It’s… It’s just almost scary how much I want this… I mean, I’ve wanted it before, sometimes a lot, but never… never like this, never this much.”

It took Fili two steps to join his lover and kiss him as if his life depended on it. Ori still wanted him, Ori wanted him more than he’d wanted the others, Ori…

Ori was almost entirely naked and pressed against him, clutching at his back, and Fili suddenly felt unsure what to do. He put his arms around Ori’s waist, because that was something he’d done before, while they were wearing clothes, and it felt safe enough. Even that was nice, and Ori’s skin was so nice and warm against his, and a part of him still couldn’t believe that this was happening.

“What d’you want?” Ori asked against his lips. “Anything you want, we can… so what…”

“You. Just you. Anything. _Everything_.”

He’d meant for that to sound… romantic, maybe. Seductive.

Instead, it made Ori laugh.

“Everything might be a lot,” the younger dwarf teased gently. “It will take us a while to do _everything_ … but that’s good, we’ve got all our lives. We’ll have to start somewhere, though. Do… do you want… would you like to take me?”

Fili felt as if all of his blood at turned to fire as images started filling his mind. He could picture it so well, Ori on his back and sinking into him… and he wanted that, wanted it so much, but that wasn’t his favourite fantasy, not quite.

When he’d been alone and touching himself, it wasn’t _Ori_ whom he’d most often imagined on his hands and knees.

“I’d like to be taken by you,” the prince said hurriedly. “If, if that’s fine with you? I’d like that, I’d like it a lot, but if you… if you don’t want that’s fine, I’m fine with anything as long as it’s with you, just… just, if you want it, I want it?”

He pulled back a little, waiting for an answer. Ori’s face was frozen in a polite, distant smile, one which Fili had learnt meant that his lover was trying to hide his emotions. And that wasn’t good. The last thing he wanted was to have Ori hide from him, especially if they were about to finally be intimate.

“Are you seriously asking that?” the young dwarf asked. “Or is it just a joke?”

“I wouldn’t joke about that, love. I know how you feel about… _jokes_.”

“So you really want me to… but you’re a prince?”

“What does that have to do with anything? Kili was one too, wasn’t he?”

Ori froze in his arms, and Fili regretted mentioning his brother. If that didn’t ruin the mood entirely, he’d be lucky.

“I’ve never,” Ori said, looking away.

“Never what?”

“Never… done it like that. Never… I’ve never taken someone. I… Thren just didn’t like… penetration in either way, and… and Kili didn’t want to let me… he said princes couldn’t… he said it wouldn’t be… We weren’t of equal rank so we couldn’t like that, because it would be shameful for him. We only did it the… the other way.”

“Oh, Ori…”

Fili pulled his lover tight against him, and kissed his forehead.

It made sense, in a twisted way. Kili didn’t even _like_ boys, so of course he wouldn’t have wanted that. But to lie like that, to made Ori think there was anything shameful in an act of love before demanding it of him…

“I don’t really mind you know,” Ori said, kissing his collarbone. “I guess… I guess that means if we do it, it’ll be a first for both of us. I think I quite like that, actually. That way our first time gets to really be a first time, you know?”

“So… you want to?”

“ _M’al_ _yes_ , if _you_ want to?”

Instead of answering, Fili leant to kiss him again, licking at his lips and meeting Ori’s tongue, enjoying the taste of his lover and wondering if kissing him would feel as good or better when they would be making love.

There was a bit of logistic to discuss after that. Fili suggested at first to be on his hands and knees, because he’d read it might be the easier way to do it, but Ori put on his polite smile to say that he’d rather not because he wanted to see him, and the prince didn’t insist. Instead he ended on his back, a pillow under his hips, and that was just fine too.

It felt strange to feel one of Ori’s fingers breach him. Not that the sensation itself was new; he’d had his own fingers more than once. But it felt more intimate than he’d ever have imagined, having someone else do that for him… or maybe that was more because of the way Ori was kissing him slowly, very slowly, as if they had all the time in the world. And slow certainly was nice… at first. By the time his lover had a second finger in him, Fili wasn’t sure he could withstand slow much longer. He soon asked for a third one, and Ori obeyed, moving to kiss the prince’s neck while his fingers opened him up.

“Am I close to it?” the younger dwarf asked after a moment.

“Close to what?” Fili gasped.

“ _It_. The… you know. _Inside_. Where it feels good?”

Fili blushed, but since Ori’s entire face was a bright red, he decided it didn’t matter too much.

“Oh, that. I think… if you could, just a little more to the side and… _there_!”

Ori tried to hide a proud little grin at having found it. He set out to drive Fili crazy, trying different sorts of touches on that spot to figure out which one was the best, until the prince begged him to _stop teasing and just take him, for the Maker’s sake_.

Having Ori’s fingers had been different from having his own, but feeling his lover’s cock pushed into him was a brand new experience. It wasn’t painful as such, because Ori had prepared him carefully, and had used probably more oil than really was needed so that everything was slick and nice, but it was a little uncomfortable at first. But not really in a bad way, he supposed.

It _couldn’t_ be bad, not when it allowed him to see Ori like that, eyes closed and with an air of intense concentration, not when it made him feel so full and close to his One.

“You’re inside me,” he whispered reverently when Ori’s hips met the back of his thighs. “I can feel it. You’re _inside me_.”

“You sound so serious,” Ori sniggered.

“I am! You’re inside me and I can feel it when you move, that’s very serious!”

Ori’s snigger turned into a full laughter, and Fili gasped.

“I can feel you _laugh_!”

“Are you going to say aloud everything I do?”

“ _Yes_ , if you keep doing things that feel so nice,” Fili retorted, chuckling. “It’s _your_ fault, not mine.”

Ori snorted and kissed him softly before pulling back a little and pushing back in, carefully, as if Fili were something delicate and fragile.

“That certainly feels nice,” the prince breathed. “Very nice. Don’t stop, please.”

Ori didn’t answer and kissed him again, rocking slowly into him, frowning and looking focused once more. Fili tried to move against him, to get more friction, until Ori once again hit that spot inside him that made him feel so good. The younger dwarf noticed of course. He burrowed his head against the side of the prince’s neck and tried to brush the spot as often as he managed until Fili could do nothing but moan and beg for more and _harder_.

The pleasure stopped a moment while Ori shifted a little to take Fili’s length in hand, and it took him a few thrusts to find the right angle again, but he did, and the prince didn’t last long after that. It was just too much, with Ori inside him and against him, the taste of his skin and his smell, the little whimpers he was trying to hold back, everything just like Fili had dreamed it would be and yet so much better.

When he came, it was with Ori’s name on his lips.

The other dwarf followed soon after with an almost pained groan, and Fili felt a new heat inside him. A part of him thought with no small delight that he really was Ori’s now… but most of him just felt sated, and a little sleepy. This, is decided, was the best feeling in the world and he couldn’t wait to do it again, and again, and again.

He could, after all.

They were allowed. After so many years, he was allowed to have this, and it had been worth the wait, but he wanted it again, and soon.

“We should clean up,” Ori mumbled against his neck, sounding quite content too.

“We should. Five minutes?”

“Five minutes.”

Fili smiled, and kissed his lover’s hair.

He felt happier than he’d ever been before…

And it was just the beginning.

 


	7. Ori's smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili just doesn't learn, it seems

It was prince Khim who first brought Fili’s attention to Ori’s many smiles.

The young diplomat was a nice boy, very serious for his age when he was working, but also very glad whenever he was given a chance to just be young and silly… and since Fili was more than happy to be able to do that with someone who understood the sort of responsibilities he had, they had managed to become friends quickly enough. Not that it was always easy, because Fili’s Khuzdul wasn’t always perfect (a shame for the heir to the throne, he knew, but the occasions to practice and learn had been few, there had always been more pressing matters to mind…) and Khim’s Westron was rather uncertain, though it was improving fast.

Fili shamelessly used the boy’s desire to improve to learn more about Ori’s life in the East. The young diplomat was always more than glad to talk about their common friend, especially since, according to him, Ori seemed much happier these days.

“Before, he not sad, but not happy,” Khim had told him once. “You not write, he worried. Not nice. You not worry again!”

Fili had just nodded, not wanting to explain why he hadn’t written. What had happened to Karad was a secret, because they weren’t too sure how the Ironfists would react to such a torture of one of their precious birds.

“I’ll do my best to… never do anything like that again,” he had promised instead. “The very last thing I could ever want is to hurt him.”

“Good. Because Ori in worry, not good. Sometimes when in worry, he angry, and when angry… then Ori he _smile_.”

The way the young diplomat had said it, the sight of Ori smiling had to be the most terrifying thing he had ever seen. He had even shuddered.

But it didn’t make sense, Fili thought later. Because there was nothing very scary about Ori smiling. In fact, he was almost always smiling. He seemed to have a smile for everything, really. Some were very obviously fake, such as the one Fili saw him give to one of Diat’s brothers, some were humble and designed to make himself forgotten, which he used when he worked as a translator… others were nothing short of flirtatious, when he had to help Khim negotiating with guildmasters whom nothing had prepared for such a sight and who would have agreed to almost anything as long as he smiled…

He also had some sincere smiles, for his family, for Gimli, for Karad…

Fili’s favourites were the ones only he got to see, the ones when they were alone or with only Kit playing between them, and Ori’s smile spoke all the “I love you” the younger dwarf didn’t often dare to say aloud.

Ori had many smiles, one for everything, but Fili just couldn’t figure out how a single one of these could have frightened Khim so much.

 

Until he saw Ori’s _other_ smile.

 

It was the morning after their engagement party.

At least, they had decided that it was morning, because they had finally managed to get out of bed, but in a more objective count of hours, it probably was afternoon. Fili didn’t care. They had made love once right after the party, then twice more in the morning, and the only reason they hadn’t gone for a fourth time was that they had promised Kit to play a little with her during that free day they’d been given. Even like that, it had been torture for the prince to keep his hands off of his lover while they got dressed. It hadn’t helped that Ori was flirting with him (he denied it of course, but Fili was quite sure that no one could put on their boots that sensually by accident).

Still, they had managed to get to Dis’s apartments in the end.

Only to find Kili there.

“Mother had to go see someone,” he announced dryly. “She took the child and asked me to wait here.”

“And why are you here in the first place?” Fili asked, tightening his hold on Ori’s hand.

“I had something to discuss with her. I wanted to _negotiate_ the right to _write to my wife_ , if you have to know.”

Fili felt himself blush uncomfortably. He felt awful for a short second, knowing that by his fault, Kili was separated from the only person for whom he seemed to have any sort of affection while he finally got to be with his One… but no. Diat had been sent away because Kili had proven one time too many that he couldn’t be trusted, and no matter how much it hurt him, the punishment was deserved…

At least, Kili really seemed affected, Fili noted. He hadn’t seen his little brother in quite a while… not since Diat had gone. Kili had made himself busy, and after the arrival of Khim and his followers, the youngest prince had all but disappeared from court… and now there he was, looking tired, his beard growing back (a sure sign of neglect from him, and one that meant he wasn’t training with his bow), his clothes more those of a scout than of a soldier.

Fili would have felt sorry for him, if Ori hadn’t been next to him, crushing his fingers with an iron grip.

Then Kili smirked, and any compassion the oldest prince could have felt evaporated.

“And why are _you_ here, brother?” Kili asked with an almost childish joy to his voice. “Shouldn’t you be in your room enjoying your new toy? He can’t have had the time to show you all the tricks he knows yet. Trust me, he’s quite good at pleasing. Not much good at anything else, but he makes for a good little whore. Did you make him suck you? He’s _really_ good at that, he learned to take it all and swallow like a good boy, didn’t you Ori?”

Fili stared at his brother, feeling as if he’d been hit by a cold shower.

How did he _dare_? After all that he’d done to Ori, how could he talk about such things in front of him? It would have been humiliating even if they had separated peacefully, but with things the way they were… it made Fili want to break his brother’s nose, as well as every single bone in his body, for daring to talk that way of Ori, when he had no _right_ to it. The only thing that prevented the prince from attacking his brother was that Ori let go of his hand and took a step forward. Smiling.

It was one of Ori’s more cheerful fake smiles, the one he reserved for people he very obviously didn’t like much, and Fili hadn’t seen it often.

“I think we are starting on the wrong foot,” the young dwarf told Kili, his voice dripping honey. “You seem to function under the belief that we are equals at best, or at worst that I am your inferior. Now, that just will not do. I am not some eager courtesan that you may recommend to anyone. I am _not_ a low birth scribe whose honour you may insult because he has no honour.” Ori’s smile widened, and there was a sort of cheerful cruelty to it. “I am Ori, son of Thelor, Spymaster of Gabilbizar, and I am here as part of prince Khim’s diplomatic mission, to help secure the ties between his kingdom and yours. I am also a subject of the low queen Khirim, to whose family I am tied, and to insult me is to insult all Ironfists. I could demand reparations for the insults you just gave me, and be certain that I would obtain them. I could also make demands about what you did to my bird. Our laws are clear, and anyone harming a raven is to be punished with death, as they are presents from a maia. Since I am merciful, and you are a prince, I think I would be content with having your hands cut off.”

Kili turned grey.

“You can’t. I’m a _prince_!”

“Not _my_ prince,” Ori assured him joyfully. “I have no allegiance to anyone in Erebor, not until I am married to your brother. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that asking that you lose your hands might be a problem in our engagement, and that your uncle might decide to break it off. But if you think for just one moment that will stop me from making sure the entire world gets to know just who you are, then you are wrong. Fili might be my One, and I might love him more than anything, but I will gladly throw it all away if you give me just _one_ chance to get my revenge. Do you understand?”

The young prince nodded quickly.

“I’m glad of that,” Ori replied, his smile turning less cruel and more polite, but only slightly. “Now, I think we can both agree this isn’t the best solution for either of us. So here is what we are going to do. I will forget that you have nearly killed my best friend, only because you cannot understand that living creatures do not exist solely for your distraction, in exchange for which you will never again make any mention to our past relationship, not in public, not even in private, nor will you speak about me in any manner unless directly asked to, and should such a thing happen, if anything slightly insulting comes out of your mouth, I will make sure that you regret it. I am after all the Low Queen’s cousin, and my brother is the most dangerous dwarf of all Erebor. I can make sure you sincerely regret your action, and I can also make sure you don’t have to regret them for long. Do we have an agreement?”

“Y-yes. I won’t… I swear…”

“Excellent. Now, you will tell us where your mother went.”

Kili told them, for which Ori thanked him with his sweetest smile before grabbing Fili’s hand again and leaving the room.

“Get us somewhere private,” Ori hissed as soon as the door was closed behind them.

“What?”

“I want to cry, but I can’t do it anywhere where I might be seen, so please, I’m begging you, take us somewhere private. _Please_.”

Fili nodded, and dragged his lover to a small office he knew to be abandoned (used to be his grandmother’s, no one wanted to use it). Once they were there, Ori fell in his arms and started sobbing. It was only the second time Fili had seen him cry, if he counted their brief discussion in prison before his exile, and once again he just didn’t know what to do. This time at least he could hold his One close, which he did, though he wondered if it wasn’t to comfort himself more than Ori.

“I wouldn’t do it,” Ori sniffed after a few minutes. “I couldn’t… I’ve got you and I couldn’t do anything that might make me lose you, but… it was the only way to make sure he didn’t… it was the only way, I had to make him stop, or he’d have started again like before, and…”

“He wouldn’t have,” Fili promised, kissing his lover’s brow. He was almost ashamed of the way he suddenly relaxed, just knowing that Ori wouldn’t really sacrifice what they have for revenge. “We wouldn’t let him hurt you again. I wouldn’t let him hurt you again. I’ve made that mistake once, I have spent nearly a decade regretting it… never again, love.”

Ori sobbed, and pressed himself against the prince.

“I’ll tell mother about what happened,” Fili decided. “Tomorrow, I’ll find a moment to be alone with her and I’ll tell her… or even today, before Kili can ask for permission to write to Diat. We had an agreement with him, and this was a violation of it. He’s got to learn his actions have _consequences_.”

“Thank you,” Ori whispered, pulling away just enough for a quick kiss. “I’m sorry that… that things are so complicated because of me.You should have fallen for someone… better.”

“Maybe,” Fili retorted. “But I’m not sure there _is_ anyone better, so I’ll have to settle for you.”

Ori giggled, drying his tears with the back of his sleeve, and the prince kissed him again, as tenderly as he could.

Kili always ruined everything.

But what they had was something not even he could destroy.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry if anyone hoped that Ori and Kili's confrontation would be from either of their pov... but writing as Kili in this verse makes me... very uncomfortable, and I don't think I could have written as Ori for such a scene...  
> So Fili is the safe option.


	8. Dwalin/Nori part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nori isn't a good dwarf. He knows it. He doesn't care.  
> Being a bad dwarf is easy enough, after all.  
> Until the day he starts getting attached to his little brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RJEKLRJEKRZERJZLRJZLRJZEFJDKSLFJKSDL  
> I AM SO DONE WITH THAT THING URGH
> 
> I had planned for a while now to write something about Nori and Dwalin in the Dream-verse  
> It was supposed to be short  
> ahahahahahahah  
> here I am with 4000K of Nori's thoughts and they're not even friends yet but I'm just done with this part of it because urgh  
> So I guess there will be more of these two fuckers orz

The look in that giant of a dwarf’s eyes said “ _I know you and I hate you_ ”, but Nori couldn’t quite remember how they might have met. The tall dwarf was noble, that much was clear because only nobs and great thieves could look that _proud_ , and Nori knew every single good thief in Ered Luin and beyond.

He didn’t know that dwarf, though, and that bothered him. People hating him were just a fact of life, but he usually preferred to know _why_ they wanted him dead, because it made it easier to stay alive.

Then Thorin, at last, had the idea of introducing Nori, his company’s scout, to…

“Dwalin, son of Fundin, who will be in charge of security, among other things. I hope the two of you can work together.”

“I’m sure we will,” Nori replied with a smile that was _just_ polite enough to show he was _trying_ to be good.

Dwalin didn’t answer, glaring at Nori as if his very existence were an insult. Strange, really. Dwalin had a reputation of not being too bad, for a nob, and of being one of the most _just_ guards in town, so why would he hate Nori when he’d never met him before?

But then, Dwalin moved, and Nori saw the scar on his arm, light, almost faded, the mark of a bite, and…

Oh.

Nori had done his best to forget everyone that Nari had met, because the people who had known _her_ didn’t know _him_. It had made things easier.

But Dwalin hadn’t forgotten, and it seemed even after decades, even with how little Nori looked like the wild girl he had once been, Dwalin had recognized him.

Hadn’t said anything, though.

So he was either thinking of blackmailing Nori (unlikely. See: good reputation for a guard) or he wasn’t sure (likely: everyone _knew_ Nari daughter of Ari had died a gruesome death) or he didn’t want to have to explain how he knew Nori wasn’t a man like others (likely: getting a scar from a kid? _shameful_ ) or he didn’t want to say anything against one of the few idiots ready to follow old Thorin (very likely: that was nobs for you)

Better keep an eye on him anyway.

Just in case he thought that knowledge of Nori’s past gave him any sort of power over him.

Some people had tried that, in the past.

Usually, it just gave them an early death.

 

“Dwalin was bitten by an orc once,” Kili claimed proudly to their astonished hobbit. “He even has a scar to prove it, don’t you mister Dwalin?”

Dwalin glared at the prince, but it was too late, and everyone started asking to see it.

Even Nori, who had been talking to Ori, turned to see what that was about, and the giant dwarf immediately looked at him as if he were some sort of disgusting vermin.

It was a change. Usually, Dwalin just pretended he didn’t exist, while Nori either pretended likewise or did his best to force the other dwarf to acknowledge him, depending on his mood…. It was stupid, yes, but it was also fun.

But this time the tall dwarf was glaring at him, as if to challenge him to say anything while Kili gleefully pointed at his arm to show…

It took all of Nori’s self control not to laugh.

Orc bite indeed.

Well, Nori had been called worse than an orc.

And if Dwalin chose to lie about this, than Nori could make him keep quiet about the rest.

Worked for everyone.

 

Dwalin was an interesting distraction, with the way he tried so hard to ignore Nori, but the thief had other ways to entertain himself. His favourite was Ori.

Nori had never been a family person, mostly because he had always felt his family needed him about as much as a mine needed a rockslide. Dori was a fussy thing who just had no idea what it was like to be a bastard and thought Nori was being over dramatic as a child, while Ari was, in Nori’s humble opinion, a fucking whore who should have kept her leg closed, because what sort of a person landed with two bastards, and both of them from different fathers? But Ori…

Ori was soft like Dori, and naive like Ari, but that wasn’t all that he was. There was a determination in him that Nori liked. The kid smiled too much and tried too hard to please, especially where his fiancé was concerned, but he still knew what he wanted and he wasn’t afraid to do all he could to have it.

Sadly, “all he could” wasn’t much.

Yet.

It wasn’t easy, teaching him, because observing people and using their strengths and weaknesses against them was something Nori had always done. It was like breathing, a thing he did because it was the only way to stay alive… but he tried to explain it anyway, to break it down in smaller things, the way Thelor had done for him years ago when he’d tried to explain him how to know what someone would do or say before they could even start thinking about it.

Ori memorized it all, thinking it a fun game. He seemed happy to learn anything new, and happier still to just spend time with Nori. He’d been like that as a child too, the only person Nori knew who seemed happy to see him for no other reason than that he was Nori.

He’d grow out of it, with time. When he’d realize just what Nori was capable of, what those nice little tricks he taught Ori really were for…

But until then, Nori had a brother.

 

“What are you planning, pretending to be a good brother like that?” Dwalin asked him one afternoon while they were resting at Beorn’s. “What do you think you’ll get out of that?”

Nori raised an eyebrow, unable to entirely contain his surprise. Since the day of the “orc bite”, it was the first time Dwalin was acknowledging him in any way. Well, that wasn’t quite true, the tall dwarf had helped him get out from under the great goblin, but Nori was fairly sure that had just been pure instinct. Only the worst of dwarves would have left someone to die crushed by rocks or tortured by goblins, and even Nori had never yet fallen that low.

But now Nori was cleaning his knives outside and Dwalin was there, right in front of him. Looking confused and angry (always angry anyway) and sincerely curious.

“I’m not sure I’m anything like a good brother. Just ask Dori, he’ll tell you that.”

“Dori doesn’t like you. I don’t either. _No one_ likes you, beside the hobbit because he’s an idiot, and Ori because he likes _everyone_. I know what you are like. You’re the sort of dwarf for whom the dragon was a bloody blessing, because people like you _thrive_ on chaos and misery.”

Ah, the Speech. Nori got that sometimes. People who wanted him to change… or thought he would never change… or needed to reaffirm the fact that they were morally superior to him…

It was cute, really.

“You’re not like that with Ori though,” Dwalin said hesitantly, as if admitting that was painful to him. “You take care of him. But people like you don’t take care of others unless they have a good reason, so what’s yours?”

“What do you care? Afraid I’ll corrupt your little prince’s future husband?”

“No. I don’t think you could corrupt him if you _tried_ ,” Dwalin spat at him, “but... I don’t think you _are_ trying anyway.”

Nori stared at him blankly. “So, do I have a plan in taking care of my brother, or don’t I? It’s getting confusing.”

“That’s what I’d like to know!” Dwalin growled in frustration. “I can’t figure it out. I can’t figure _you_ out, so I just have to ask you: do you have any hidden reason to act with your brother the way you do?”

“No,” Nori said, already knowing that he wouldn’t be believed.

“Good,” Dwalin replied. “Keep it that way.”

And as if Nori’s word was enough for him, the tall dwarf left.

Nori stared at the knife in his hand, feeling unsure about what had just happened. Dwalin couldn’t have believed him, of course. Did he hope to force Nori to be true to his word? It wouldn’t be a problem, he really didn’t intend on hurting Ori, not if he could help it… but he didn’t want Dwalin to think he had the upper hand, to think he had any sort of power over him.

He’d have to be careful.

 

Mirkwood wasn’t easy, especially once the water and food was gone.

Nori had survived worse, of course, and if he’d been alone, he would have managed long after the others had died. But he wasn’t alone. He had Ori.

How Ori had become someone he couldn’t stand to lose, Nori wasn’t sure. It wasn’t supposed to be like that. His only concern was supposed to be his own life, and yet no matter how hard he tried, Nori couldn’t force himself to imagine a single plan that didn’t involve his brother’s survival.

It was new.

Nori hadn’t cared for someone that way in years. Not since the days when he still went as Nari, and his lover broke his arm to keep him home, to prevent him from going stealing again, because girls on the wrong side of the law didn’t stay thieves, they became whores… and Nori had _loved_ that dwarf, even though he’d been twice his age, but even with just one arm he had killed him without any hesitation, and used his corpse to fake his death.

It had been a lesson: do not get attached, it brings nothing good.

But he’d gotten attached to Ori anyway.

It made everything complicated. Ori alone he could have managed, but if Nori gave him food, Ori shared it with Kili, and it would be likely the boy wouldn’t want to escape without his prince… or Dori… or anyone, really, because the kid was dumbly loyal. So they would have to stay, until the others started dying. Ori wasn’t used to death, he’d be fragile and Nori would be able to get him away more easily.

He just had to wait until the first death, and make sure neither he nor the kid were that first corpse.

Nori was good at waiting for people to die.

Sometimes, he was also good at helping them die, if it was the only way.

 

Nori had not often been glad to see elves, but he was this time.

Now that they were safe, he could admit to himself that he didn’t really want to see any member of Thorin’s company die.

 

He changed his mind on that point in Erebor.

Kili was hurting Ori.

Nori hadn’t seen him do it, and the verbal violence from the prince wasn’t significantly worse than usual, but there was that look on Ori’s face, the look of someone who until recently had still believed that the world was a good place, only to discover that reality wasn’t all safe rock and diamonds.

Nori knew that look.

He’d seen it in a mirror, after he’d watched Kred burn and disguised his body to look like Nari’s.

He should never have seen on Ori.

But before he could arrange an accident for Kili, Bilbo had given the Arkenstone to the Elves.

 

Things were better after the battle.

Kili treated Ori better, didn’t even speak to him as harshly as he sometimes had during the quest, and Nori decided to give him a chance. He was giving one to Thorin, why not to his nephew.

 

“Ori wants to live with Kili,” Dori said one night.

“Don’t let him,” Nori replied, faster than he had meant to. “Don’t ever let him. Let mama decide that, he’s got to wait until then.”

Dori glared at him. “Of course I won’t let him. He’s too young for this, and Kili… Kili needs to grow up a little too. In a few years, maybe… but not yet.”

Nori nodded.

He didn’t think Kili would ever grow up, not in a way that would make him suitable for Ori… because Nori had finally found why he didn’t like the young prince.

Kili was too much like Nori was.

Or, because Nori _did_ have his pride, Kili was the way he’d be if he weren’t as clever, and hadn’t been forced to find ways to stay alive when he was smaller and skinnier than most dwarves around him, if he hadn’t had to be so careful just to make sure no one doubted he was a man.

But even like that, Kili is just as selfish as Nori is, caring as little about others, as long as he gets what he wants… The main difference being that Nori had learned that the best way to get what he wanted was to understand what others wanted, and to use it. Kili didn’t do that, he just took whatever pleased him. He could. He was a prince.

Nori wouldn’t have minded, and might even have tried to teach him, in other circumstances, because having a prince who knew how to really use people could have been good. Fili was too much like his uncle, a cold idealist who cared about nothing but his kingdom (and maybe Ori, though Nori suspected that was more lust than anything else, Ori being far too pretty for his own good). It would have been good to have someone a little more practical on his side to balance things out. Kili could have been a good students, and Nori found himself wondering sometimes if Thelor saw in him the same wasted potential he saw now in the prince…

But there was a difference.

And that difference was Ori. Nori couldn’t do anything with Kili as long as Ori was his lover, because he remembered when he’d first realized what he could do with people with just words, and what he’d done had been to hurt everyone around him, making Ari cry and Dori lose his calm, tauntings thieves and guards… Kili might not be as bad as he was, of course. But Nori just couldn’t take that risk.

He’d have to wait until the kids had broken up.

It would happen.

Ori was too clever to not see one day that Kili didn’t love him.

Nori just hoped it wouldn’t take a broken arm for his brother to see it.

 

Going back to Ered Luin had been a bad idea.

But he felt trapped in Erebor, with people looking at him as if he were some bloody hero. He couldn’t stand the way some dwarves would look at him as if he were mithril, the way they would try to flirt with him… And all of them the wrong sort, of course, huge and mean and so certain that everyone wanted to be fucked by them, because they were so strong and handsome and dangerous.

He’d always attracted the wrong sort.

He’d also always been attracted to the wrong sort.

It had never been a problem before, when he could throw away his lovers, or kill them if they become too clingy, if they looked like they might start telling things no one needed to know about Nori… but this was Erebor, and he wasn’t just a thief, he was a brother, to dwarves who were engaged to nobility.

He didn’t give a troll’s shit about Dori’s reputation, and if Balin decided again that he’d reject his One for stupid reasons then it was their problem, but Nori couldn’t do anything that would hurt Ori.

So when Thorin had asked for volunteers to go get the first of the exiles back, Nori hadn’t hesitated.

He wasn’t too anxious to see his mother again, but anything was better than being trapped in Erebor, and if he could get Ori away from his prince…

It would have been perfect if Ori had gone with him to Ered Luin. The boy would have had the time and distance to help him realize that Kili wasn’t right for him, and once that was established, he was too smart to stay in a loveless relationship. Nori would then be free to take the prince under his wing, and to show him what _wonderful_ things you could do when you didn’t care about people.

But Ori refused, even though he clearly realized that things weren’t right with his prince.

And Nori, for the first time, started fearing that Ori might not be brighter than him after all.

It had taken Nori a broken arm to realize that love was usually a lie.

As he left Erebor without his brother, he hoped that Ori’s own epiphany would be a little less dramatic.

 

When he returned, many months later, Fili was waiting at the gate.

Fili alone.

Bad sign, Nori thought. Very bad sign.

Ori should have been waiting for him, Ori and maybe Dori, eventually Kili if he had decided to make a show of how good a son he was, but not _Fili_. Fili was a busy dwarf. Fili had things to do. Fili shouldn’t have been at the gate, and he shouldn’t have looked that _relieved_ after spotting Nori.

Something wasn’t right.

So Nori excused himself to the others, and galloped to go meet the prince.

Fili waiting at the gate was a bad sign.

Fili looking as if he hadn’t slept in days was a _very_ bad sign. Probably hadn’t changed clothes in as long. Hair a mess. Nervous. Fidgeting. Obvious relief when he saw Nori approach. Bad. Nori jumped down from his pony, and Fili was gripping his arm a second later, dragging him away from the crowd awaiting the caravan.

“They’ve arrested him,” the prince whispered urgently, panic obvious in his voice (and Mahal, when had that kid slept for the last time?). “I couldn’t do anything, and neither could Dwalin, we’ve tried all we could be it’s not up to us! It was done on purpose, I know it, you’ve got to help him!”

It took a few second to Nori to realize who the prince was talking about, but there was only one person who could put Fili in such a state.

“Ori? Ori has been arrested?”

Fili nodded frantically. “He… he snapped, he attacked Kili, in front of people, and he was arrested, Dwalin had to arrest him… You should come, quickly, now!”

Nori allowed himself to be dragged inside by the prince, too shocked to resist. Ori had been arrested. His Ori had been arrested.

Kili was good.

He didn’t doubt that it was Kili’s work, not for a second. Ori wouldn’t have snapped if he hadn’t pushed to it, not after having accepted so bloody much, and the younger prince wasn’t stupid enough to have done that on accident. Kili wasn’t a genius, but he could be damn smart when he wanted to. He’d done it on purpose, which meant he was good, almost as good as Nori himself, and with proper training… He just had to get Ori out of jail, make sure he understood that there was a difference between making concessions and being a doormat… and then Nori would have a smart, ruthless student in Kili.

It was the plan.

It was a good plan.

That plan would work.

It had to work.

“Thorin is going to exile him,” Fili explained as they arrived in front of the prison. “We were waiting for… for you and your mother to arrive, but it, it’s certain already, I know my uncle, he… you’ve _got_ to do something!”

“Exile?”

Nori froze. Exile for a lover’s quarrel?

Fili nodded, looking desperate. So maybe there was more than just lust in the prince’s interest in Ori… he stored the information away for later. He couldn’t lose time on that right at the moment. Not when Ori was under threats of exile.

“Just because they had a public fight?”

“He said… Kili said it wasn’t the first time,” Fili whispered guiltily, as if he’d been the one to lie. “He said Ori was possessive and aggressive, he got his friends to testify in his favour… He’s playing poor lost boy so _well_.”

“We’ll see about that,” Nori grunted, and he entered the prison, alone.

The plan was falling apart under his fingers.

He could have worked with some public dishonour for Ori. He could even have worked with a sort sentence, of public work. Damn, that would have taught the kid to not be so naive, to not trust his lovers so easily.

But exile.

He didn’t want Ori exiled. He wanted his brother by his side. He’d never been around to see Ori grow, and he’d never really missed it before, but it had become a thing he wanted. He wanted to see Ori get out of his shell, to see him more confident. He wanted to teach him a trick or two, not enough to bring the kid down to his level, just enough to make his life easier. He wanted his damn brother by his side, the only damn person who still trusted him, even after having seen glimpses of what he really was like.

He couldn’t let Ori be exiled.

Nori barged into Dwalin’s office, and the large dwarf didn’t even look surprised.

It was a shit day.

“You arrested my brother,” Nori growled. “You have one minute to tell me why, and to convince me I shouldn’t gut you right here and now.”

“I did my job,” Dwalin grunted. “Now do yours and get him out of that cell.”

Nori’s eyebrows rose in surprise. That. Wasn’t what he had expected. Dwalin wasn’t supposed to… Dwalin was supposed to hate him and gloat that Nori wouldn’t ever have a chance of making an impact on the princes now.

“He said someone had burned his notebook from the quest,” Dwalin explained, making Nori frown. “We didn’t find anything, but that doesn’t mean there was nothing. Bloody fireplace was way too clean compared to the rest of the place, especially for somewhere with only two kids living there. I doubt there’s much to find there, after a couple days… but Kili’s not supposed to have gone back there, and I have the key for you, so…”

“What are you doing?” ?Nori asked. “You’re… what are you _doing_?”

“Helping, of course. What else?”

Nori felt a brief moment of panic. Of course, Dwalin had to want something in exchange for his help, but what? Another mean of pressure, in case knowing about Nari wasn’t enough? To trap him, and rid the world of a criminal all and for once? To just show that he too could be unpredictable? From anyone else, Nori might have expected it, but Dwalin… it wasn’t like him to do that. It went against everything he thought he knew about the guard.

Which meant he had been wrong about him.

He had to be careful then. He had been too confident before, because Dwalin had seemed easy to figure out. He couldn’t make that mistake again.

“Can I see him?”

“No one’s allowed without Thorin’s permission. Go on your right, ask Thril to take you to him… she’s the Blacklock.”

Nori nodded, eyeing the tall dwarf warily. This was even worse than just helping, then. This was going against Thorin’s orders.

Dwalin was disobeying Thorin, Fili was in love with Ori, and Kili had been smart enough to get rid of Ori for good while making himself blameless.

Nori hated that day.

“Why are you doing that?” he asked, expecting lies of some sorts in answer. People rarely told them the truth, not on purpose, but he could always figure it out anyway…

But Dwalin, once again, was perfectly honest when he answered, and Nori really didn’t know what to make of it.

“Your brother is a good boy,” the guard claimed, looking as if it were obvious.. “Something’s not right in what happened. I like him, but I can’t help him. You can. I trust you to sort it out and help Ori.”

The words felt like a slap. People didn’t trust Nori, not for anything, not unless they were stupid, or too naive to have realized what sort of a dwarf he was… and Dwalin knew what he was, and he wasn’t as dumb as he looked.

People didn’t trust Nori, because he wasn’t trustworthy, and he knew it himself.

People didn’t trust Nori, but Dwalin said he did, and he wasn’t the sort to lie, he had nothing to gain from it. It didn’t make sense. Dwalin knew exactly what sort of a dwarf he was. It didn’t make _sense_.

“Come on, go see Thril!” the guard grunted. “She’s safe, her wife works with Ori in the treasury, she’s with us.”

Too stunned to protest, Nori obeyed. It took him a few seconds, but he managed to push away any thoughts about Dwalin. He couldn’t lose time and energy on that, not yet. He had to save Ori, had to protect his brother…

He didn’t know how, but he had to make sure his brother was safe.

And once that was done, maybe he would try to understand why Dwalin had gone so mad that he’d decided to put trust in Nori of all people.

 


End file.
